Understanding Letters of Wishes: A Simple Guide for UK Estates

Your will is a legally binding document. But sometimes, you want to share more—your thoughts, values, or guidance—without altering the legal structure of your estate. That’s where letters of wishes come in.

Used alongside a will or trust, a letter of wishes gives informal direction about how you’d like your estate managed. It’s not legally binding, but it often carries significant weight.

In this article, we’ll explain what a letter of wishes is, how to write one, and why it matters.

What Is a Letter of Wishes?

A letter of wishes is a written, non-binding document that accompanies your will or trust. It provides guidance to your executors, trustees, or family on how you’d like certain matters handled after your death.

While your will lays out what should happen, your letter of wishes can explain how and why—in a private and flexible format.

Examples of what a letter of wishes might include:

• Reasons behind certain gifts or exclusions
• Guidance on how to distribute personal items (e.g. jewellery, heirlooms)
• Preferred guardianship instructions for children
• How funds in a discretionary trust should be used
• Wishes for funeral arrangements
• Messages to loved ones

Is a Letter of Wishes Legally Binding?

No, a letter of wishes is not legally enforceable. It’s not a substitute for a will.

However, in the UK, courts and executors often give serious consideration to its contents—especially if it aligns with the will and offers clarity where needed.

Its informal nature is also its strength. It can be updated at any time without the cost or formality of changing your will.

Why Use a Letter of Wishes?

1. Flexibility

Your will is fixed once signed. Changing it usually requires a formal codicil or entirely new will. A letter of wishes, on the other hand, can be updated easily and as often as needed—without witnessing.

2. Privacy

Wills become public once probate is granted. Letters of wishes do not. They remain confidential between your executors, trustees, or legal advisers.

This allows you to include sensitive details or personal opinions without public exposure.

3. Clarity

If you’ve made a difficult decision—such as leaving someone out of your will—a letter of wishes can explain your reasoning. This can reduce family confusion and potential disputes.

4. Guidance for Trustees

If you’ve set up a discretionary trust, your letter can help trustees understand your intentions—such as who you hoped would benefit and in what circumstances.

What to Include in a Letter of Wishes

Your letter should be clear, respectful, and consistent with your will. Common areas include:

1. Personal Possessions

Wills often don’t list every item. Use your letter to guide who should receive personal effects with emotional value—such as family photos, artwork, or sentimental gifts.

2. Funeral Wishes

Although not legally binding, expressing preferences (e.g. burial vs cremation, type of service, location) can ease decision-making for your loved ones.

3. Trustee Guidance

If you’ve set up a trust, explain:

• Which beneficiaries to prioritise
• How funds should be used (e.g. education, housing, health)
• Circumstances that would trigger distributions
• Any concerns about specific individuals

4. Guardianship Hopes

If your children are under 18, you may have appointed guardians in your will. In your letter, share more about:

• Your parenting values
• Religious or cultural beliefs
• Education hopes or school preferences
• Any ongoing health or care needs

5. Messages to Family

You can use your letter to leave personal messages—words of love, thanks, or encouragement. This can bring comfort at a difficult time.

Tips for Writing a Letter of Wishes

✅ Keep It Clear and Concise

Avoid vague language or emotional outbursts. Be specific, but not legalistic. Remember: you’re guiding, not instructing.

✅ Date It and Store It Safely

Include the date and keep the latest version with your will, ideally in the same secure location. Let your executors or solicitor know where it is.

✅ Don’t Contradict Your Will

If your letter gives guidance that goes against your will, it can create confusion—or even legal challenges. Make sure the documents work together.

✅ Update When Needed

Review your letter every couple of years or after life changes (birth, divorce, relocation, etc.).
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Letter of Wishes Example (UK)

While there’s no strict format, here’s a basic structure:

Letter of Wishes
[Full Name]
[Date]

To my Executors / Trustees,

This letter is intended to express my wishes in relation to certain aspects of my estate, in conjunction with my will dated [insert date].

1. Funeral: I would prefer a non-religious ceremony and cremation.

2. Personal Belongings: I would like my wedding ring to go to my daughter, Emma, and my watch to my grandson, Jack.

3. Trust Guidance: I ask that my trustees consider using the discretionary trust to support my grandchildren’s university fees or housing deposits.

4. Excluded Beneficiaries: I have not included my brother, James, in my will due to a longstanding estrangement. I ask that this decision be respected.

Thank you for carrying out my wishes with compassion and care.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

Note: This is for illustrative purposes only. Always seek legal advice when writing or updating your estate documents.
________________

Who Should See Your Letter of Wishes?

You should share it with:

• Your solicitor or will writer
• Your executors
• Any appointed trustees
• Your partner or closest family member (if appropriate)

Keeping it private is fine—but ensure someone knows where to find it when it’s needed.

Common Questions

Can I handwrite my letter of wishes?

Yes, as long as it’s legible and signed. But typed letters are easier to read and update.

Do I need a solicitor to write one?

No—but getting legal guidance ensures it aligns with your will and doesn’t cause confusion.

Can it be used in court?

While not enforceable, UK courts may consider it—especially when it helps clarify your intentions.

How Letters of Wishes Can Reduce Disputes

• Family disputes after death often arise from uncertainty, exclusion, or perceived unfairness. A well-crafted letter of wishes: Provides context for difficult decisions
• Prevents misinterpretation
• Guides trustees with clarity
• Reduces emotional burden on loved ones

When people understand why you made certain choices, they’re less likely to contest them.

How Level Can Help

Whether you’re an executor handling an estate or a beneficiary awaiting inheritance, financial pressures can make an already difficult time harder.

At Level, we offer:

• Inheritance Advance: Get up to 60% of your future inheritance, without waiting for probate to complete.
• Estate Advance: Executors can access funds to pay inheritance tax or funeral costs—before assets are liquid.

We support families through complex processes like probate with clarity, care and speed.

Final Thoughts

Letters of wishes may not be legally binding—but they carry emotional and practical power. By offering guidance, explanation, and humanity, they help ensure your estate is handled in line with your values.

They’re easy to update, entirely confidential, and deeply valuable to the people you leave behind.

Start yours today. It’s a simple step that can make a lasting difference.