Understanding Letters of Wishes: A Simple Guide for UK Estates
Trying to understand a letter of wishes? Discover how to guide executors and protect your loved ones in plain, clear terms.
Letters of Wishes: What They Are, How to Write One, and Why They Matter
Please note: the information in this guide applies to the rules and conventions for letters of wishes in England and Wales. Different rules may apply in Scotland and Northern Ireland.
Your will is a legally binding document. But sometimes you want to share more — your thoughts, values, or guidance — without altering the legal structure of your estate. That is where letters of wishes come in. Used alongside a will or trust, a letter of wishes gives informal direction about how you would like your estate managed. It is not legally binding, but it often carries significant weight.
- What is a letter of wishes?
- Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
- Why use a letter of wishes?
- What to include in a letter of wishes
- Tips for writing a letter of wishes
- Letter of wishes example (UK)
- Who should see your letter of wishes?
- Common questions
- How letters of wishes can reduce disputes
- How Level can help
What is a letter of wishes?
A letter of wishes is a written, non-binding document that accompanies your will or trust. It provides guidance to your executors, trustees, or family on how you would like certain matters handled after your death. While your will sets out what should happen, your letter of wishes can explain how and why — in a private and flexible format.
Examples of what a letter of wishes might include:
- Reasons behind certain gifts or exclusions
- Guidance on how to distribute personal items such as jewellery or heirlooms
- Preferred guardianship instructions for children
- How funds in a discretionary trust should be used
- Wishes for funeral arrangements
- Messages to loved ones
Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
No. A letter of wishes is not legally enforceable and is not a substitute for a will. However, in England and Wales, courts and executors often give serious consideration to its contents — especially where it aligns with the will and offers clarity on the testator’s intentions.
Its informal nature is also its strength. It can be updated at any time without the cost or formality of changing your will.
Why use a letter of wishes?
| Benefit | What it means | Why it matters |
|---|---|---|
| Flexibility | Can be updated at any time without witnessing or formal process | Your will is fixed once signed; changing it requires a formal codicil or new will |
| Privacy | Does not become a public document after probate | Wills become publicly accessible once probate is granted; letters of wishes remain confidential |
| Clarity | Explains the reasoning behind difficult decisions | Reduces family confusion and the risk of legal disputes |
| Trustee guidance | Helps trustees understand your intentions for a discretionary trust | Trustees have wide discretion — your letter narrows it in line with your wishes |
What to include in a letter of wishes
Your letter should be clear, respectful, and consistent with your will. The five key areas to consider are:
1. Personal possessions
Wills often do not list every item. Use your letter to guide who should receive personal effects with emotional value — such as family photos, artwork, or sentimental gifts.
2. Funeral wishes
Although not legally binding, expressing preferences — such as burial vs cremation, type of service, and location — can ease decision-making for your loved ones at a difficult time.
3. Trustee guidance
If you have set up a trust, explain:
- Which beneficiaries to prioritise
- How funds should be used — for example, education, housing, or health
- Circumstances that would trigger distributions
- Any concerns about specific individuals
4. Guardianship hopes
If your children are under 18 and you have appointed guardians in your will, use your letter to share more about:
- Your parenting values
- Religious or cultural beliefs
- Education hopes or school preferences
- Any ongoing health or care needs
5. Messages to family
You can use your letter to leave personal messages — words of love, thanks, or encouragement. This can bring real comfort at a difficult time.
Tips for writing a letter of wishes
Keep it clear and concise
Avoid vague language. Be specific, but not legalistic — you are guiding, not instructing. Clear language reduces the risk of misinterpretation.
Date it and store it safely
Include the date and keep the latest version with your will, ideally in the same secure location. Let your executors or solicitor know where it is.
Do not contradict your will
If your letter gives guidance that conflicts with your will, it can create confusion — or even legal challenges. Make sure the documents work together, and consider asking a solicitor to review both.
Update when needed
Review your letter every couple of years or after significant life changes — such as a birth, divorce, or relocation. Because no formal process is required, updating it is straightforward.
Letter of wishes example (UK template)
There is no strict format required. The template below illustrates a typical structure:
Letter of Wishes
[Full Name]
[Date]To my Executors / Trustees,
This letter is intended to express my wishes in relation to certain aspects of my estate, in conjunction with my will dated [insert date].
1. Funeral: I would prefer a non-religious ceremony and cremation.
2. Personal Belongings: I would like my wedding ring to go to my daughter, Emma, and my watch to my grandson, Jack.
3. Trust Guidance: I ask that my trustees consider using the discretionary trust to support my grandchildren’s university fees or housing deposits.
4. Excluded Beneficiaries: I have not included my brother, James, in my will due to a longstanding estrangement. I ask that this decision be respected.
Thank you for carrying out my wishes with compassion and care.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
Note: this is for illustrative purposes only. Always seek legal advice when writing or updating your estate documents.
Who should see your letter of wishes?
You should share it with:
- Your solicitor or will writer
- Your executors
- Any appointed trustees
- Your partner or closest family member, if appropriate
Keeping it private is perfectly reasonable — but ensure someone knows where to find it when it is needed.
Common questions
Can I handwrite my letter of wishes?
Yes, as long as it is legible and signed. Typed letters are easier to read and update, but handwritten letters are equally valid in England and Wales.
Do I need a solicitor to write one?
No — but getting legal guidance ensures the letter aligns with your will and does not create confusion or unintended conflict. Given that it costs nothing to draft and can be updated freely, professional review is a low-cost safeguard worth considering.
Can it be used in court?
While not legally enforceable, UK courts may consider a letter of wishes — especially when it helps clarify intentions in a disputed estate. For more on how estate disputes are handled, see our guide to probate disputes.
How letters of wishes can reduce disputes
Family disputes after death often arise from uncertainty, exclusion, or perceived unfairness. A well-crafted letter of wishes can reduce this risk by:
- Providing context for difficult decisions
- Preventing misinterpretation of the will
- Guiding trustees with clarity on your intentions
- Reducing the emotional burden on loved ones
When people understand why you made certain choices, they are less likely to contest them. For more on how disputes arise and what can be done, read our guide to probate disputes.
